Your mindset literally determines everything… from the strategic decisions that you make to the risks you are willing to take, to the way you respond to things that happen in your environment and how you attract the right people to your team.
It all boils down to mindset.
Your mindset can be analyzed in a helpful way by observing the nature of your dominant thought patterns.
Your thoughts fall into one of three categories:
Trivial or Pointless
Disempowering
Empowering
Let’s look at some examples of each.
A ‘Trivial or Pointless’ thought could be “I really like this music.” There is nothing ‘wrong’ with that thought, but it is neither empowering nor disempowering.
When you are stuck in a pattern of ‘disempowering’ thoughts, they often emerge as excuses or complaints that position you as a victim of your circumstances.
Disempowering thoughts and statements often use words like ‘should’ or ‘if only’ to imply that there is something inherently wrong with the present moment.
For example:
“If only I had more time…”
“If only I had more money…”
“If only I were smarter…”
“If only I had more energy…”
“If only I had the right team…”
“That person should give me the respect I deserve…”
These statements are ‘disempowering’ because they imply that your current life situation is outside of your control. But realistically, each statement reflects a situation that you MUST overcome through your own self discipline.
The situation could be the exact same but an empowering way to phrase the same thoughts would be:
“I am going to make more time for _______ because it is a priority for me.”
“I know exactly how much money I need to accomplish _________, so I am actively developing new revenue streams, saving money, and looking for partners/investors.”
“I am going to learn enough to be an expert in this subject because it is something I am passionate about. I don’t need to know everything, I just need to constantly be learning. The answers will be there when I need them.”
“I am going to eat healthier, sleep more regularly, and exercise so that I have the energy I need to fulfill my commitments.”
“My passion, consistency, and dedication to my mission will shine through and talented people will be compelled to help me on my journey.”
“I know respect is something earned, not given, so I am showing up with a great attitude each day and making sure that my output is consistent and remarkable. The respect is a byproduct.”
The difference between a disempowering mindset and an empowering mindset can usually be traced back to the idea of ‘ownership’.
Are you taking ownership of your situation and your ability to change it?
Or do you blame your circumstances on your past trauma, other people, or your ‘lot in life’?
Another way to think about this is ‘fixed versus growth mindset’. Fixed mindset implies that things are they way they are, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Growth mindset implies that you understand things are constantly changing and every difficult situation can be seen as an opportunity to grow.
I believe the most powerful mindset is to take it a step further and claim ‘extreme ownership’. I could write an entire essay on that idea alone, but the basic gist is that you claim ownership for things that may not really be your fault.
For example:
If you are in a relationship with someone that doesn’t treat you right, that is your fault because you chose to build a relationship with them and your lack of boundaries allows for that sort of treatment.
If you have an employee that messes up a big project, that is your fault because you put them in charge of it and perhaps did not give them clear enough instructions.
The idea is to take a powerful stance by claiming ownership, even though, in reality, those people may need to be held accountable for their actions.
That being said, the most peaceful mindset is the Marvelous Mindset. And I mean marvelous literally. Marvel means ‘to be filled with wonder or astonishment’.
If we can ‘marvel’ at the events, people, and situations in our lives without automatically assigning a ‘judgement’ about them, we are able to peacefully handle things that would make most people stress out.
We marvel at the unexpected outcome and we look for the lesson that is waiting to be revealed. For a deeper dive into this principle, check out my post ‘Beginner’s Mind’.
Mindset is the key to making your dreams come true.
If you can shift your internal programming toward empowering and positive thoughts, your behaviors will follow. If you have clarity about what you want to accomplish, and you match that with the behaviors that it takes to succeed…
Your success becomes inevitable.
You must also 'learn to love to learn' and trust that the answers will be there when the problems arise. Look at each situation that arises with a sense of ‘marvel’ and be vigilant for the negative and disempowering thought patterns that may arise.
When you see those negative patterns emerge, just marvel at them. Don’t judge them and definitely don’t judge yourself. Understand that the thoughts are disempowering and replace each one with an empowering thought like we did in the exercise above.